Spiritual Advice from the Orgasm

You must learn to concentrate. Keep your mind in the present. Of course, the orgasm is always in the present. But I lingered in the past. Often I had fantasies. My favorites: a fire-eater, his head bent back, closing his lips around a blaze. A long-legged girl dressed only in a wedding veil, twirling faster and faster. (She had the loveliest long skinny legs.) A dark-haired waiter asking what I wanted—he said he was only there to serve. The last time I saw him, I asked for a single glass of water. I was trying out abstinence, the primary ingredient in holiness. The second ingredient, a shaved head. Outside the snow began to fall. I shivered, imagining myself a bald nun, walking inside an ice cube.